Review: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Release: March 25th, 2016
Director: Zack Snyder
Genre: Action, Adventure
Starring: Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot, Jesse Eisenberg, Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane, Amy Adams, Holly Hunter

Superman and Batman. Two of the most iconic superheroes of all time, duking it out in a high-stakes battle. If you aren't familiar with the comic books, this concept might be something of a surprise to you: aren't Batman and Superman the good guys?

That's what a concerned mom at Target asked me the other day while I was stocking items in the toys section. My answer was, "Well, we don't really know for sure yet, but Batman and Superman don't quite see eye to eye in this movie." I really hope I don't see her again, because even after seeing the movie, I still can't tell you why Batman and Superman were fighting.

Before I get into the many issues plaguing the film, I'll talk about what I liked. First off, the obvious: Ben Affleck might be the quintessential Batman on film. He was perfect. Despite the huge (irrational) uproar over his casting, I think he was a great choice. Of course, I think Karl Urban would have been the best choice, and maybe could have been even better than Affleck. As it stands now, however, IMO Affleck is the best film Batman to date.

Of course, Henry Cavill is a fantastic Superman too. He proved himself in Man of Steel, and he does another fine job in this film. Gal Gadot does a serviceable job as Wonder Woman, but I think her performance is being a bit overrated by fans online.

Visually, there are a ton of great scenes in the film. You expect this from Zack Snyder, who's proven he can direct a fantastically dramatic action sequence, but ultimately is just a step above Michael Bay. At the beginning, the death of Bruce Wayne's parents still packs a bit of punch despite the fact that we've seen it plenty of times. Snyder gives us a unique take on this familiar scene.

Right after the opening credits, we see the Battle of Metropolis from Man of Steel, from Bruce Wayne's perspective. This is an epic, intense start to the film and is done really, really well. But from there, it starts to go downhill.

Almost immediately, the film begins to jump from scene to scene without any sense of coherence. The film throws so much at you in so little time you become bogged down in the details almost right out of the gate.

The introduction of Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor is when the film really starts to take a nosedive. Eisenberg is the biggest misfire casting perhaps ever in a superhero film. He is far too quirky, annoying, and obnoxious to have any sense of intimidation. His dialogue sounds like it was written by a pompous middle schooler who thinks he's a lot more intelligent than everyone else, and it's so ridiculously complex and filled with stupid metaphors I honestly couldn't understand a word he was saying, and it didn't help that I was distracted by his terrible performance. I get going for a new, different take on the character, but as many people have pointed out, he seems more like a Riddler or Joker than the dark, plotting, genius that is Lex Luthor. Lex is supposed to be an iconic, classic menacing, villain, and I don't think turning his character inside-out was a good idea at all.

The next two hours of the movie are a whirlwind of convoluted plot points that try way too hard to explain why Batman and Superman are fighting. Lex is attempting to orchestrate a battle between the two heroes, but I couldn't figure out why or what his goal was.

Batman's fight scenes are awesome, but he brutally murders people left and right. I don't have a huge problem with this, but it's a jarring change from Nolan's take on the character, especially since Batman uses guns to dispatch his foes on multiple occasions.

As I mentioned earlier, Wonder Woman is fine, but she has absolutely no place in the film. You could completely remove her character from the movie and still have the same exact movie. It seems as if she was included just to add more teasing for the eventual Justice League sequel.

It's painfully obvious that DC is trying desperately to catch up to Marvel as fast as possible, especially with the horrendously forced scenes in the middle of the movie that comic fans will recognize as "Knightmare" scenes. I don't read DC, so it didn't mean much to me, but I could recognize that they were teasing Darkseid, who is the big bad of the DC universe. To casual viewers, this scene must have been so out of left-field and so confusing. I can't imagine why they would include it, except to force even more teasing in an already overstuffed movie.

The final battle includes the classic Superman villain Doomsday, another unnecessary addition and waste of a fantastic storyline from the comics. The actual Batman v Superman fight is incredibly underwhelming. They punch each other around for a few minutes then become friends for...well, stupid reasons.

I don't know what went wrong in this film, but it's a massive disappointment. It's obvious that WB needs to can Zack Snyder and find someone more focused on good writing and coherence than big, bombastic action scenes. Despite the huge amount of money the film is bound to make, I hope WB listens to fan complaints and tries to improve their future films.

Verdict: 2/5

Review: Deadpool

Release: February 12th, 2016

Director: Tim Miller
Genre: Action/Comedy
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrien, T.J. Miller, Gina Carano, Brianna Hildebrand

The cult-favorite comic antihero Deadpool finally hits the big screen! The so-called Merc with a Mouth is one of my personal favorite Marvel characters, who was horrendously butchered in 2009's maligned X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Unsatisfied with the portrayal, Reynolds set out to make things right. After test footage was leaked from the VFX studio behind the film, it gained enough popularity to convince Fox to greenlight the film, which Reynolds had been trying to get done himself. Despite the comparatively tiny budget to other big superhero releases, Deadpool manages to be one of the best in recent years.

Known for his wicked sense of humor and ability to "break the fourth wall" (That is, acknowledge there's an audience and know that he's in a comic book or film) Reynolds and crew knew that this had to be a hard-R rated film to do the character justice. Problem is, Hollywood execs don't like that letter, because it means less money.

That didn't stop them though, because this film is brutally violent, offensive, vulgar, and hysterically funny.

When former spec-ops operative Wade WIlson discovers he has late-stage cancer, he is contacted by a mysterious secret organization that claims they can cure him and give him amazing superpowers. Under their custody, they experiment and torture him until he develops a powerful ability to heal from any wound, at the cost of his skin. He escapes their evil clutches, and becomes the mutant vigilante Deadpool, tracking down the men who did it to him. Along the way, he's interrupted by the X-Man Colossus, and his trainee Negasonic Teenage Warhead, who attempt to recruit him for the mutant team.

They set out to do this character justice, and the result is perhaps one of the most accurate portrayals of a comic character ever. Reynolds is hilarious as Deadpool, every joke manages to land, and his antics are a treat to watch.

The story is told partially through flashbacks, which are significantly darker and more serious and provide a perfect contrast to Deadpool's vulgar quips. The pacing is great too, the film never drags and probably could have used an extra 10 or 20 minutes to flesh out the story even more.

The metal-skinned Mutant Colossus is a hilarious opposite of Deadpool, and his inclusion is another welcome contrast. The two characters play wonderfully off of each other.

The film's self-aware nature provides plenty of laughs, but still manages to get you to take it seriously. You begin to really feel and connect with Deadpool, because he's a flawed, broken character with nothing to lose. 

The other standout of the film is the direction. There's a few sequences of crazy action, but it's all filmed beautifully, each bullet wound feels solid, each punch resonates with you, and its incredibly satisfying. There's no distracting shakycam.

The effects are impressive for the budget but still pretty spotty. CGI blood is noticeable, and as impressive as it is that we finally got a comic book-accurate Colossus on the big screen, he isn't the best looking CGI character I've ever seen. Hopefully with a bigger budget next time around we can see them do wonders with the CGI.

If you're a superhero fan, or a dirty comedy fan, there's something for you here. Even if you don't like the X-Men movies, you'll probably have a blast at Deadpool. This isn't a kid-friendly movie, though, so sensitive people who are easily offended might want to look elsewhere.

Verdict: 4/5

Review: Hail, Caesar!

Release: February 5th, 2016

Director: Joel & Ethan Coen
Genre: Drama/Comedy
Starring: Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Alden Ehrenreich, Ralph Fiennes, Jonah Hill, Scarlett Johansson, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Channing Tatum

I have had a really hard time thinking about what to write about the latest quirky comedy from the Coen Brothers. Between work, getting sick, and problems with my car I've been putting off reviewing for a bit, but I'm back, and this is a film that I really needed that time to think about.

Much like the beloved The Big Lebowski, while there is a narrator for the film, you still have to figure out the characters and their motivations by watching them. The Coen's are masters of the rule "show, don't tell" and somehow the way they make their films you really have to pay attention to everything to follow the plot.

The film follows real-life Hollywood producer and "fixer" Eddy Mannix (Josh Brolin) in the 1950s. As a fixer, he helps cover-up any scandalous behavior of his stars, to keep their image clean for the press. He his overseeing production of a number of films, the biggest being the biblical tale Hail. Caesar! starring the womanizing Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) When Whitlock disappears, Mannix must keep away the nosy gossip columnist twins Thora and Thessaly Thacker, and deal with the other actor's issues, as well as figure out where Baird has gone off to.

There are some decent laughs to be had between all of the oddball characters, only helped by the huge cast of talented actors. However, the film as a whole feels very disjointed.

It feels more like a collection of scenes as opposed to a coherent, solid movie. Each scene is great, with eye-popping colors and hilarious, quick-witted dialogue, but the plot doesn't quite come together as a whole. In fact, it seems almost as if the plot itself takes a backseat to the other sub-plots of the film, and it's wrapped up very fast.

Much like Tarantino's The Hateful Eight earlier this year, this film feels like Coen-Brothers lite. It has all of their signature elements, but doesn't amount to very much substance.

Unlike Hateful though, each element works individually, and the scenes are quite funny. If you're a Coen fan, you'll find some entertainment here. Otherwise, wait for DVD.

Verdict: 3/5

Review: The Finest Hours

Release: January 29th, 2016

Director: Craig Gillespie
Genre: Drama
Starring: Chris Pine, Casey Affleck, Eric Bana, Ben Foster, Holliday Grainger, John Ortiz

When you go to a chain restaurant, you don't expect much. Sure, the food might be cheap, passably tasty, and presented well, but at the end of the day it's not quite as filling or memorable as finding a local, hole-in-the-wall burger joint where they hand-form each patty and cook it to order. Because at chain restaurants, everything is pre-packaged, pre-portioned, and frozen for quick and easy serving.

Movies are like restaurants, in that regard. A lot of movies that come out, particularly from Disney, are chain restaurants. Formulaic, mass-produced, and not particularly unique; but you couldn't quite say it's bad either.

Of course, some movies fall in the middle. Let's say the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies are Texas Road House: still a chain, but everything there is done a little more personally, a little more carefully, and it ends up being a memorable meal.

While The FInest Hours, Disney's latest mass-produced, "chain" film, isn't a Subway or Applebees, its not quite a Texas Road House either. There's nothing particularly bad about it, but it's also not the best movie I've ever seen.

The film tells the true story of Bernie Webber (Chris Pine) a crewman stationed at the Chatham Coast Guard station in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Days before a massive winter storm, he and his girlfriend Miriam (Holliday Grainger) plan to get married. First though, as per coast guard regulation in 1952, he believes he must ask the permission of his commanding officer Cluff (Eric Bana) But when the storm hits, a tanker 10 miles off of the coast is split in half. Webber takes four of his fellow crew members and makes a daring and dangerous rescue attempt.

The first thing I noticed about the actors not on the sinking ship, Pine, Affleck, and company, are all very...quiet, for lack of better word. For Pine, it's his character: he's quiet, timid, but brave and respectful. Still, I felt a lot more energy could have come from the actors, it seemed as if they were all about to fall asleep, and it made my eyes a little heavy as well. The first half of the movie is held up purely by the exciting scenes set on the ship, and I think more time could have been dedicated to those to keep the momentum going a bit.

Also on the subject of acting, the performers attempt a Boston accent, with mixed success. As someone who lives in New England who's very familiar with the dialect, I could tell they were just putting on an accent, because it sounded more like a bad Brooklyn accent, which is a mistake a lot of people make when attempting to replicate it. 

Like I said, the film follows a formula, successfully I might add, but it's a formula nonetheless. You always know where the film is going based on the previous scenes. Not bad, but it makes for little suspense. The only parts I felt were truly nail-biting were the scenes in the beginning on the ship, and the climactic rescue scene when Webber and his crew are attempting to get all the survivors on board of his rescue vehicle. 

There was a lot of good camerawork throughout the film. The standout shot being a long, unbroken take in which the camera winds through the entirety of the ship as the crew relays a command from the top of the vessel to the bottom. This must have been a fun scene to see in 3D, however, I don't think anything else warranted a 3D viewing, as the CGI was very hit-or-miss. 

Some VFX shots, especially involving the water, looks great. However, a lot of green-screen shots were very noticeable, something pretty unacceptable for a big-budget Disney movie in 2016.

One thing I think the movie lacked was a bit of humor. Disney movies always include this in their films, and it was surprising not to see it. I can't remember even one attempt at it in the film, which was a bit disappointing.

Overall, if you're looking for a family-friendly disaster drama with a bit of inspiration, look no further. If you like a bit of meat on your ribs, something to savor and think about, you're better off skipping this one.

Verdict: 3/5 

Review: Dirty Grandpa

Release: January 22nd, 2016

Director: Dan Mazer
Genre: Comedy
Starring: Robert Di Nero, Zac Efron, Aubrey Plaza, Zoey Deutch, Julianne Hough

If you told a 14-year-old boy who had just learned about sex, drugs, amd swearing to write the funniest, dirtiest comedy he could, you'd probably end up with Dirty Grandpa. 

There's a certain level of self-awareness required in writing ultra-raunchy material. South Park, for example, always has a certain hidden level of intelligence and parody underneath the vulgarity that helps you enjoy it on multiple levels.

Dirty Grandpa, however, has none of that. If you've ever wanted to see Robert De Niro pleasuring himself in front of Zac Efron, after commenting on how remarkably specific that is, I would tell you to go see this movie.

There were a surprising amount of people in the theater for 2:00 pm on a Wednesday (it certainly wasn't packed, though) and I was definitely the youngest in the audience. I don't think there was anyone under 40, and there was even a couple who had to be somewhere in their 70s.

After attending the funeral of his recently deceased grandmother, young lawyer Jason Kelly (Efron) is asked by his grandfather (Di Nero) to drive him to his vacation home in Florida where he and his beloved wife went every year. Despite the disapproval of his wife-to-be Meredith (Julianne Hough) he accepts, as it's what his grandmother "would've wanted him to do" according to grandpa.

However, immediately as Jason arrives at his grandpa's house to begin the trip, it's clear that there are other plans on the mind of the recently single DIck Kelly.

Di Nero and Efron have surprising chemistry, with the roles switched a bit this time: Jason is an uppity, no-nonsense lawyer who just wants to please his obsessive fiance, while Di Nero is a wild, sex-obsessed, potty-mouthed old man who wants to "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!" His words, not mine.

With a better writer, it could have been a fantastic premise with opportunities for offensive laughs and heartfelt character moments. And while it starts out strong, getting a few good chuckles out of me, it soon descends into "what incredibly dirty thing can we have this legendary actor say next?"

In that, it lives up to the name of the film, but it becomes tiring as jokes are dragged on and on for far too long without any real breathing room. (Not because was gasping for air, mind you, because I was sighing and checking my watch) And while a handful of them land, the majority of them make your cringe and wonder who in the incredibly talented cast actually thought this was a good idea.

Eventually, of course, the film takes a few emotional turns and humanizes the unlikable titular grandpa, which was done reasonably well, but the "lesson" they try to push home feels artificial and wrong, because of how some characters are set up. For instance, they attempt to show that Jason's fiance is controlling and clingy, a la The Hangover, but it instead comes off as Jason being irresponsible and his family showing concern for him as he provides no explanation as to why he is late for his wedding rehearsal. Unbeknownst to them, of course, he is partying with the spring breakers in Florida.

It makes the movie feel inauthentic, as if they hurriedly tried to add in a lesson to justify the vulgarity. It works in some scenes, in others it doesn't.

There were a few decent laughs to be had, mostly from Di Nero at the beginning of the film. 

I find myself struggling to write any more, because despite the talent and inherently memorable premise, it's a rather forgettable and bland movie that goes for shock value but ultimately has none at all. 

It's not the worst film I've ever seen, but Mazer and crew will need to put more effort into it if they want to make a memorable comedy.

Verdict: 2.5/5

Review: 13 Hours

Release: January 15, 2015

Director: Michael Bay
Genre: Action, War, Drama
Starring: John Krasinski, James Badge Dale, Max Martini, Dominic Fumusa, Pablo Schreiber

During 13 hours, one of the characters (I couldn't tell you his name) says to Jim Halpert, "Is it me, or does it seem like everybody knows what's going on but us?" Which sums up how I felt about the movie pretty well.

I went into this movie with an open mind. I talk a lot of shit about Michael Bay, maybe even more than he deserves, and I wanted to be sure to bring an unbiased review. I didn't think the trailers looked all too bad, and I thought maybe, just maybe, Bay had it in him to direct a quality, competent, coherent film given a serious subject matter.

And admittedly, there were some aspects of this film I liked. Loved even. But it was weighed down entirely by horrendous, awful cinematography, wooden characters, and shoddy writing.

Why does Bay need to film every single scene like its a high-tension action sequence? From the moment the film opens, the camera appears to be operated by someone balancing on a ball. Even dialogue scenes have a million different cuts, some shot at odd angles, breaking the 180 degree rule, making it hard to follow. I never understood people saying that they got motion sickness at films like Cloverfield, and I actually love shakycam when it's done correctly in the right situation. Here, it's messy and distracting.

The film follows buff Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) who has a beard, an attractive wife, and two daughters. He's ex-military, and he is assigned to (I think?) guard a top-secret CIA base in Libya, which is just a mile away from a US Embassy, where an American ambassador has arrived for some reason. When the embassy is attacked by an unidentified local militia, Bearded Jim Halpert and his team go on a rescue mission to save the ambassador. This alerts the militia to the CIA base, where they have to return and defend it.

This is probably a pretty butchered summary, but honestly, as someone with no background knowledge at all on this event, this is what I got. This movie is incredibly confusing. It introduces you to the squad of characters, but as soon as the attacks start, you are suddenly following a bunch of different teams who never seemed to be introduced, and when they're all buff white guys with bushy beards and military clothes, I couldn't tell who was who, where was where, and why they were doing certain things. The characters weren't fleshed out enough that I could tell them by their mannerisms or dialogue.

The movie was pretty boring as a result. However, the action scenes were very well done. Michael Bay is known for his bombastic action sequences, and usually I find them muddled and confusing, but surprisingly he dialed it down a notch or two and I actually quite enjoyed them. This is because visually, the movie is quite remarkable. The colors are vibrant for a film like this, modern military films are usually doused in muted yellows and tans. The orange fire, explosions, and gun flashes really pop on the deep blue backgrounds, and it's really a treat to watch. There are also some pretty intense scenes, particularly the firefights. My heart was pounding on a number of occasions.

But ultimately, this wasn't enough to keep me interested. I was bored to tears approaching the 2 hour mark, and when the large Trump supporter next to me, who had been laughing and groaning and leaning and breathing through his mouth the whole time started vaping, I walked out and told the kids at the box office, who alerted the manager. I went back to try to finish the movie, but after a few more minutes I got up and told the manager which guy it was, and said that I was going to head out. He offered me a free movie pass to come back, and I thanked him for his help and left.
I doubt the movie got any better in the last 20 minutes though.

I would also like to point out that, surprisingly, the film wasn't at all anti-Muslim, nor did it try to push a political agenda. During the film, the local militia that aren't attacking the base come to the aid of the American soldiers, and a few end up teaming up with Jim Halpert and his team. One says, "I'm fighting for my country." Which was one of the best lines in the film and was very commendable.

I really was hoping to like the film, but Michael Bay strikes out once again. 


Verdict: 2/5

Review: The Revenant

Release: December 25th, 2015 (Wide)

Director: Alejandro G. Iñárritu
Genre: Drama, Thriller
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domnhall Gleeson, Will Poulter

People are always cracking jokes about how Leonardo DiCaprio has never won an Oscar despite giving many fantastic and perhaps Oscar-worthy performances. Will The Revenant finally be his chance? I don't necessarily think so, but that's not to say he didn't do a spectacular job as Hugh Glass in this survival/revenge story.

Why do I say that? After all, Leo did go all-out during the production, enduring perhaps some of "the most difficult things" he's ever had to do, including sleeping in animal carcasses. And it certainly paid off, the film is absolutely brutal. You can truly see the pain, suffering, and cold on DiCaprio. But I don't necessarily think putting yourself through terrible conditions automatically qualifies you to be an Oscar winner. It certainly helps, but ultimately its about the on-screen performance and portrayal of a character. And while DiCaprio's performance was stellar, I'm not quite sure he has the Oscar in the bag quite yet, but what do I know?

The film tells the story of Glass, a tracker who is helping a group of frontiersman navigate uncharted Montana and South Dakota. He is attacked and almost killed by a bear, and his party reluctantly decides to leave him behind with his son and two of their own as they can't carry him up the mountain back to the fort. However, sick of Glass slowing the group down, one of the men tasked with taking care of him, John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy), kills his son and leaves him for dead. Glass barely survives the ordeal, and driven by the rage of his lost son, sets out to get revenge on Fitzgerald on foot.Meanwhile, a group of Native Americans are searching for the men, who they believe have kidnapped a girl, one of their own.

It's an intense story of survival, made all the more riveting by the excellent camerawork. Much like director Alejandro G. Iñárritu's previous (and best picture-winning) Birdman, the film is shot uniquely, consisting of many long steadicam shots, during which the camera will swing back and forth between characters, events, and locations continuously. It makes the film that much more real, and you can really feel what Glass is going through. It was also shot with no artificial lighting, so the night scenes are pitch black.

The film is paced beautifully, never once feeling like it's dragging, but at nearly 2 hours and 40 minutes, it doesn't feel rushed either. It's a film you really get engrossed in, because the characters and world feel so real. The writing, especially the dialogue, is fantastic. You never really know where the story is going to go, and it ends up being suspenseful and satisfying.

The only thing that took me out of the film were the computer-generated animals. They looked good, but not good enough that I couldn't tell they were CGI. That being said, the bear attack scene was done very well, the way the bear interacted with the world and DiCaprio was convincing. Obviously they couldn't get a real grizzly on set, but I would have maybe liked to see it done practically, with a suit, and then enhanced digitally. But really just a minor nitpick.

Overall, this is a fantastic start to 2016, especially after the disappointing Hateful Eight. (I know technically they're both 2015, but I'm counting the wide release date as the release year.)


Verdict: 4.5/5